Kronotross' Random Journal of Randomness

Wtf, who was that?

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 12:45:23 GMT

Whoever it was, he was a dick and he wasn't funny.

On the other hand, he had impeccable fashion sense. :O Did you see those shoes? Seriously, I have the exact same pair.

DER BAU DES TODESSTERNS.

And now I retreat back into the technicolor shadows of... THIS JOURNAL. If you're high you totally can't see me back there. It's like stoner camouflage. Stonerflage? Nah, that looks like some sort of video game boss.

Now pretend everything else on this journal is the funniest stuff you've ever read, EVER. Because in at least one parallel dimension? It is.

Alright, party's over.

Fri, 09 Sep 2005 13:00:54 GMT

I'm done trying to act crazy because after a year or so the page just looks retarded. And for the record, I'm not doing this for people to read it like SOME PEOPLE, because it's just retarded to put a journal of your PRIVATE THOUGHTS in a PUBLIC FORUM. (Read the prefix of each term, people.)
So if you're reading this, go away. I'm just trying to collect my quotes somewhere they isn't susceptible to my computer dying. But the colors stay, only rather than trying to make me look crazy they remain to prevent people from reading. If you really want my mindgold you'll have to do it in exchange for your retinas.

Quotes for today:
You know what I hate about Choose Your Own Adventure books? I don't think I've ever read one with a possible "happy" ending. It's always "SHIT YOU BROKE YOUR LEG GAME OVER!" or "SHIT THE DINOSAUR ATE YOU GAME OVER!" Even the "happy" ending is like "SHIT YOU SURVIVED BUT NOW THE PORTAL IS BROKEN FOREVER AND YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK AND EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE CRAZY SO YOU DIE ALONE GAME OVER!" Seriously. I've read so many of them, and I can never recall a single happy ending.

HAIL THOR, GOD OF THUNDER. (dee doo) (dee doo) THOR COMMANDS YOU... (dee doo doo) (dee doo doo) DANCE! (dee doo-doo dee dee) (dee doo-doo dee DEE DEE DEE DEE) THOR'S HAMMER! (*CRASH*) (DOO DOO DEE DOO... DOO DOO DEE DOO...) THOR'S HAMMER! (*CRASH*) Fzzzzzzzt-... ... Viking (-king king king...) Techno (-no no no...)

I also hate when I hear a song's lyrics wrong and then I'm totally into it until I figure out the real lyrics and then it's shit. Like I just figured out the real words to the chorus of Papa Roach's "Scars"; I THOUGHT it said "And my weakness is, that I can't do much." Because that's a legitimate regret and seems to fit with the whole "I can't help you but I want to" theme of the song. but it ACTUALLY says "And my weakness is, that I care too much." And come on, now he's just being an attention whore. "I care too much" really means "PLEASE LOVE ME I'M TOTALLY COOL"

You know it's time to take a shower when: a fly is buzzing around your head. No, seriously. It started happening in my last Physics class which was awkward. I was like "WTF A FLY?" And now it's happening again. It's like nature's way of telling you "YOU FUCKING STINK!"

That's all for today. See you in another year when I remember I have one of these.

Rice Krispies, more than meets the eyes.

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 13:48:49 GMT

Eleventy-five score and thirtyteen years ago, it was 1760, and America was not yet a country.

And lisp is a very cruel word.

Baby Coupons

Sat, 04 Sep 2004 16:31:28 GMT

Buy one get one half off.

If you're into that kind of thing.

Braaaaains...

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 20:16:54 GMT

hhghgghhhghghhg

And don't you forget it.
Ook ook.
Veeeeeins...

I don't knoooooow, ehhhhhh...

OH EM EFF GEE EET EEZ TEH THOWZIND?!?!11

Monkeeeeeys. Kleeeeark.

AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIIIII!
MAKYCHIMAK.

I want a Mexican (whoa-oh) Radio

Sat, 07 Aug 2004 11:34:35 GMT

It's like Gilligan's Island, only it sucks and I don't have a coconut radio.

So eat your broccoli and give yourself bigger breasts.

Or cauliflower for stinky farts.

Or some sort of kinky, twisted combination.

ph34r teh Starburst Tower

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 12:43:39 GMT

My Coca-Cola talks to me just like my Rice Krispies! ^^
Snap Popple Fizz, Coca Cola.

In other news: OW. FUCK.

And now back to your regularly scheduled day, already in progress.

Hey, you.

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 17:28:55 GMT

Monkeys have never flown so quietly.

And yet loudly.

Damned colors.

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 09:02:15 GMT

I hate how red and green make yellow, but only on the computer.

Fore!

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 16:53:44 GMT

There isn't any such thing as a fourth person narrative.
There is no fourth strike. It always stops at three. And most movie sequences end on the second sequel to make a trilogy -- no fourth movies.
The fourth planet from the sun is the only other planet that could ever possibly hold life in the solar system, and it is also the last inner planet making four before you hit the asteroid belt.
There are twelve months in the year, twenty-four hours in a day, and sixty minutes/seconds further down -- all divisible by four, and February's days are divisible by four except for every fourth year.
The fourth dimension is Time, which by all accounts is already a complex and alien subject, and the world itself is divided into four hemispheres by the four cardinal directions.

But we have five fingers. Damn.

Edit: AHHHHH. AND IT GOT FOUR REPLIES!
Edit on the Edit: And the fourth reply was posted four days after the inital post! >.< Which was posted on the twenty-fourth.

Arithmetic

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 02:00:38 GMT

If Fred has three apples and his friend George has nine oranges, and George gives Fred one orange for every two of his apples, George is a big fruit monopolizing jackass who is probably going to give Fred a rotten orange and charge him a surcharge of one apple to take it off his hands.

Stupid George.

Fri, 23 Jul 2004 16:38:12 GMT

Has anyone ever tried to combine cheese and chocolate? I have a feeling it could be a titanic clash of taste powers.

Or it could taste like crap.

But you never know until you try.

The fence around the silo houses the frogs.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 20:25:49 GMT

And today the frogs get ice cream.

Next time show some respect.

Things that rhyme with 'Toodles'

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 20:19:37 GMT

Noodles
Oodles
Poodles
Doodles
Foodles?
Toodles
Zoodles
Choodles
Croodles
Orange

Note to self.

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 16:21:47 GMT

No matter what anyone tells you, you can *never* have too much sugar.

The phrase "Your face" can be used as a counter to any and all comments given the approptiate editing and comical skills.

Sometimes, you just have to poop.

In summary, it's only wrong if you get caught, get a crappy lawyer, and aren't able to seduce the judge.